Exclusive - Shefali Shah: Every time I go to a set, I'm nervous and tensed

Shefali Shah also said, "It's time we understand, acknowledge, accept and appreciate that sometimes doing nothing is the best.",

Shefali Shah/Instagram

Shefali Shah after many years of entertaining people with her powerful performance as an actor has turned into a director. The actor's directorial short film Happy Birthday Mummyji dropped on YouTube by Large Short Films. Ahead of the movie release, Shefali exclusively spoke to OTTPlay and shared her journey to direction. She shared about her 25-year-long journey as an actor, Delhi Crime 2 and more.

Excerpts...

You turned director with Happy Birthday Mummyji did being behind the camera always intrigue you?

Always, I have been wanting to direct for a very, very long time. I've worked on some scripts as well. But I wasn't sure if I can take on the responsibility of a full-fledged feature film. So, I thought kaam haan kisi din karungi. But during the lockdown, two stories just came to me from within and I wrote them. I felt the time is too short, today is what we have. It was like a switch that went on in my head and I said, You know what, I'm going to do this, I'm going to do it right away.

How did you balance being in front of the camera and directing too? Did you face any challenges?

Well, one is that direction itself comes with a lot of challenges. It's a very high responsibility job. I wouldn't have been able to do it if I didn't have such a fantastic team who supported me and supported my vision and elevated me. I honestly, like when I'm just acting in a film, I focus on what I am doing in terms of a performer, but over here I focussed on more as a director than an actor.

You lose a lot of time also because you do a shot to check the shot to make certain changes, you go back to the shot, then you come back and check the shot. It takes a lot of time, and I didn't have a lot of time, we had time constraints on shooting the film. So, it had to be shot in two days. It's just putting everything together. Of course, with the pandemic being there, the security and safety measures that you have to take, there were limited number of shooting hours, there was rain, which messed up my first-day schedule, I lost four hours because of that. Then, of course, the pre-production of it, the colour correction and editing. Like I've never met my editor, I've never met my music director, I've never met them in person, so it all affected together. You have to keep the entire picture in mind.

Also, you have to understand the logistics. Creatively I may have wanted to shoot this in Goa. But you have to understand the budget constraints, you have to understand the time constraints, and work in tandem with the producer as well. It's not just your creative vision, but without compromising on your vision on what you want to tell and how you want to tell it. So, it's a lot of responsibility. All those people who put their faith in you; the hard work, sweat, the love and passion just to support your vision, you better do a decent job to justify that.

How difficult is it to convey a story in just 15 minutes runtime?

Because you only have that much time, so it has to be crisp, precise and it has to hit home. It has to hit that spot in the audience's heart and mind. Also being a solo actor film, it can't be boring and can't be indulgent. Like directors, even as a director myself, I could have gotten indulgent with it. But I realized one minute, I can make an indulgent film for my own movie. But for the audience, it has to be very crisp and precise and it has to convey everything. Also, I wasn't sure if I'd be able to see myself for more than 15 minutes honestly.

The film is about the initial lockdown. If the same happened in real life with you, what would you have done?

Exactly what Suchi did. She's my counterpart, she is my fantasy. She's living my fantasy out, I would have done exactly what she did. She was actually trying to live a life in her home while she was away. It took a lot for her to register and understand that lonely and alone is not synonymous. You don't need to be surrounded or you don't need to be recognized only by the relationships you have. For a lot of women, who are constantly working who are homemakers who are mothers, wives, daughters-in-law who go out to work, the 'me' time, they want the 'me' time but then when they get it, they don't know what to do with it. It's time we understand, acknowledge, accept and appreciate that sometimes doing nothing is the best.

There are so many moments in your projects when you manage to convey so many things just with your eyes, without uttering a word whether it’s Ajeeb Daastaans or even Juice. What's your process like?

It just comes naturally; I don't think that is a process. If I can say something in four words, in two words, I would just use those words. If I can say something without two words, I won't use those words, we have a very strong medium. If you have a camera that captures the smallest nuances, why need to underline or specify? The audience is sharp enough to understand the nuances without spelling them out. We don't need to spoon-feed them all the time.

What kind of content do you wish to create as a filmmaker?

Love Stories, human relationships. Yeah, that's what I would do.

You have been a part of films, TV shows, web series as an actor. What difference do you find in these three mediums, which is more easy or difficult to get through?

Well, for me, all of them are difficult. My process of working on it doesn't change. But with a series, it's an eight hour or 10-hour film. So you have to be able to, keep the audience guessing and not become predictable. For the audience to stand up for 10 hours, you have to be able to pull that off. With a short film, it's a short time you need to tell an entire story. It has to be crisp, and it has to hit home really hard. So my process doesn't change.

But there are challenges, making the eight-hour series isn't easy and keeping the graph of it going. When you're doing three hours or two-hour film, it's easy to remember an entire script. So when you're doing scene number 22 you know what it started with and where you're heading. But when you're doing a series which is 10 episodes, one hour each or 45 minutes each, by the time you reach the fourth episode, I mean, and we don't shoot linear. One day we are shooting the fifth episode and one day we shoot another scene from the first episode. So but you have to keep the graph in mind, you have to keep that whole trajectory in mind. All of it is hard work and challenging. In fact, every time I go to a set, I'm nervous and tensed. I'm anxious and I don't know what I'm going to do.

You are returning to the same character after a gap with your role as Vartika Chaturvedi in Delhi Crime 2. How was that process, does it take time for you to get into the skin of the character again?

Vartika is extremely close to me, I am very possessive about her. I became her. It was not difficult for me to slide into her shoes. But to fill Vartika's shoes, it is always going to be different. You know, when Delhi Crime won, I didn't expect her to become who she became. I didn't expect that kind of a reaction to her, so, now to stand up to that is a very tall order.

You've spent over 25 years in the industry, how do you look back at your career so far?

Well, initially, I would say slow and steady, I think that's how it would be. It is very slow in the beginning. In television I was lucky, and I did some really good work in terms of great scripts and very good roles. Then when I started doing films, again, I don't have a very long resume, but I have a strong resume. Then there came a patch where I felt that I don't want to just do a film, or a project because I want to go to work. I wanted to do it if it really churned me inside out and I realized that the work I want to do will come rarely, will come once in a while. So, if it means waiting, be it. So, there was a long patch when I wasn't working, I was just waiting and I'm glad that it paid off and it worked for me.

Have OTTs increased the shelf-life of actresses since age is no longer a barrier to get lead roles?

Completely because now OTT has opened up horizons. There are real stories, they're real characters. It's not just about a hero and a heroine and it's not star-driven. It's driven by performers, content, and creative makers aspiring to make content on an international level. It's opened up roles for women, even for men. They want good actors. They don't want a star, so it's fantastic. It's a great time for every creative person.

What do you have to say about the whole debate on OTT censorship?

I think it's a combined effort. It's not just the responsibility of a platform or a maker. You can't hurt people's emotions and feelings, but the audience has a choice of switching it off. So, it's about making that choice as a maker and as a viewer. It goes hand in hand.

How would you sum up your association with Royal Stag Barrel Select Large Short Films?

Fantastic! Juice is one of my finest works. It's the film I totally love and Neeraj Ghaywan is amazing. But come back to it, it's great that there is a platform that showcases films like this. It's wonderful even for a viewer because you can access it on your phone, you can watch it, it's open, it's available. It is international content that is giving opportunities to new makers. It's taking on new stories which are content driven and powerful. I'm so glad to be associated with Large Short Films.

What was the biggest takeaway from Happy Birthday Mummyji?

I think Suchi has actually gone ahead and lived what we all just aspire and dream of doing, fantasize of doing. I think sometimes it's just fine to let go. First to begin with to let go of your own expectations from yourself, to begin with.

Tell us about your upcoming projects.

I finished shooting for Human which is a web series directed by Vipul Shah and Moses Singh. It's about the underbelly of the medical world, human drug trials. It's very raw, gritty and very interesting. It's a character I've never played before and never even heard or seen before. I've never met a person like that in my life, so it's very exciting. Then there’s Darlings which is a dark comedy. It's a very pertinent and important topic but it's hilarious, wicked and it's a genre I haven't done. People just offer me very serious roles, so this is a completely different genre I'm doing and I'm loving it, thoroughly enjoying it. Then there is Doctor G, which is very sensitive, fun, and part of the ensemble. I'm doing it because I really liked the script. And then we have a little bit of patchwork left for Delhi Crime 2.

Share