Exclusive! Nisha Rawal: Whether I agree with Kangana Ranaut or not, I like that she has a point of view

Nisha Rawal was the first confirmed contestant on Kangana Ranaut-Ekta Kapoor's show Lock Upp.

Nisha Rawal (Image courtesy: Instagram).

Model-actress Nisha Rawal was the first confirmed contestant on Kangana Ranaut-hosted show Lock Upp. The actress will be working with Kangana for the first time through the reality show. Nisha had some strong opinions about Kangana, which she shared with OTTplay while interacting with us.

Not just that, Nisha also spoke about how she has dealt with life since her controversy, why she took certain steps and working with Ekta Kapoor before Lock Upp. Excerpts…

Now that you are a part of Lock Upp, what are you expecting from the show?

I am expecting nothing less. I really hope that all my sacrifice of leaving Kavish behind, I want to come out as a winner. That’s the only way I know how to go about the show. I want to stick to the rules. It’s going to be an exciting journey. As a professional, I’ve been an intimate part of the advertising world. I’ve been fortunate to have graduated through Television, movies and have had the taste of all the little things that my profession has in store for me. Now, with the digital and the onset of OTT, this is going to be like a benchmark. It will change the way people are consuming OTT. It’s a show that’s truly ‘Made In India’. It has 16 celebrities. (We’ll be locked up for) 72 days without any amenities. The makers are those people who know what they’re doing. They’re experts in the industry. The best team is at work – MX Player and AltBalaji. It’s going to be a gamechanger. I’m really looking forward to it. There will be many challenges. People are not used to seeing their favourite celebrities go through all this hardwork because they think public figures are these celebrities who think they are kings, queens and princesses, which is not really untrue but they all have their own challenges. I believe this will be interesting for me, you and the audience.

People usually run away from controversies but you have embraced it and will probably even open up about it on the show, is that correct?

A couple of things here. I want to talk about anything and everything I feel can be spoken about with a purpose to inspire. Besides that, I’m a human and have the basic right to talk about what I want to talk about and how much I want to, in a dignified way. I have people like my family, my little child who will grow up and see all these digital footprints that I’m going to leave behind. What really matters to me is that it is shared with just the sole purpose of inspiring people because ultimately, I’m a person who feels pain, shame, inhibitions, vulnerability, weak sides and strong sides. I want to show people that it’s okay to be human, have flaws, be vulnerable and to cry as far as you have the strength to wipe your tears and inspire people. Yes, it’s not easy being someone who’s a public figure and constantly under speculation. A person like me who’s never been a part of any controversy. I’ve been in the industry for 21 years and only done goody-two-shoes in the sense of brands that I’ve endorsed, which are one of the most prestigious brands in the country you can think of. I did Television, Bollywood, music videos and then comes a controversy in my life because something happened in my life. I’m a public figure and so, it is easy to point fingers about how someone has been through something. All I have to do is stand up and share and say a yes to it. It’s an example I want to set – that if I can do it, (someone else can too). There are so many people, say in the mall, hospital, on the road, at a signal, (they) look around and be judgemental about me because it’s easy to judge me. Newspapers, Television channels and websites easily say they know me and what happened to me. I’m saying that I look at the platform as a place where I can inspire. It’s a platform for me everywhere, even at that signal, right? When three people turn around and look at me and I wave back or they smile at me – I’ve seen women who are on their two-wheelers, they open up their mask and say they love me in sign language. That brings a lump to my throat. It’s my inspiration. That’s my platform. All I want to do is just that – be true to myself for me and my child. I want to raise a stronger human. Since Kavish has happened to me in my life, it’s my responsibility more than ever to make sure I leave a strong human behind me. This is not just my challenge. It’s my child’s challenge too – staying away from him for 72 days.

Did you tell your son Kavish about what you are doing and where you are going? What was his reaction?

He’s four-year-old which is big enough for me to convey something that he’ll be able to understand. I have done it in the most age-appropriate way. I’ve spoken to mental health experts before taking any step when it comes to Kavish because I’m a first-time mom. Many firsts have happened in my life and I don’t want to do anything wrong, especially in a space where, I want to make sure that the news I break to Kavish, it doesn’t affect his mental health. The actions that I make or take in life don’t affect him in the negative way because I’m a mother. It’s my responsibility to provide for my child not just in the sense of things but also virtues. I’m a strong believer of virtues, right? So I believe that I have not spoken any white lies to Kavish. I have given it straight to him in the most subtle way that I could. I told him “Kavish, mumma lives in Kavish’s heart and Kavish lives in mumma’s heart, even if mumma is away from you and won’t be able to talk to you on the phone or do any video calls that we do when she’s on the shoot. She will not come home for many days but Kavish will be able to see mumma, you know? Mumma will try to send out messages for Kavish.” I’ve also prepared him for certain challenges. I tried preparing him for weeks in advance. I took him for my show which I just wrapped up and told him this is how I go to shoot and why I can’t talk to him – because I would be driving at that point. I taught him what co-actors, shot-taking, camera, director, green room means. He started understanding and appreciating those things. I told him the meaning of a professional and how it is to any human, right? I’ve tried to tell him about just how he has his doctor, teacher, didi taking care of you, similarly mumma’s profession is to be an actor, right? I also have a couple of pathological centres where I take him. He started understanding. I told him that if Kavish wants to become an astronaut, that would be Kavish’s profession. To be able to make Kavish an astronaut, mumma has to support her profession. So I’ve tried to explain to him and he understands. I’ve always believed that has been my chemistry with Kavish. I make him understand. I explain things. I treat him at par with me, which is as an adult. Even when he was little and I would do his massage, I would count his fingers and tell him which is his left and right leg, up and down – even though he couldn’t understand but how do we know that either? They’re listening and absorbing, right? Along with Kavish, I see other children too, right? I also see Kavish has this quality of understanding. If someone treats him like a child and brushes him off, then he’s not happy and convinced. He gets restless and doesn’t know what’s going on. At that point, he wants to be explained. He has an extremely strict routine. We wake up at 7 am and keep chilling till 7.30 – talking, exchanging notes about what happened in the day and at school. I have to reach sets at 8.40-8.45. By the time I come home, it’s 10.30-11 so he’s usually gone to sleep but behind me is a routine of what he’s going to eat. Sunday is chocolate day. Once in a week he gets to go to a play area. What he’s going to eat and what time, what stories will be told to him, what time he’s going to sleep – everything is by the book. I’ve already made that book for him. In my absence, now I’ve made sure that I want him to stick by his routine because I don’t want him to feel lost. I want him to predict if something will happen. Through that, you give them something to hold on to. He’s protected, has his dedicated staff, my mother supervises him – right from his mental health to doctor, everything has been taken care of. I’m glad that he understands but also, it is his challenge too, right? He’s also writing his story. I’m sure I’ll leave behind a strong human.

Your profession is already challenging. You get to spend less time with Kavish. On top of that, you will be away from him for 75 days. How will he and you manage that, in the emotional aspect?

It’s going to be very emotional for me and Kavish. If he misses mumma, I’ve told people at home what they’re supposed to do. If he says he wants mumma, they have to give him a hug, sit him down and not ignore his question. I’ve asked them to leave everything, sit down and address his emotion. I always believe one shouldn’t brush things under the carpet, especially when it comes to emotions. Mental health comes to me at the utmost priority. Mine, my child’s, my staff’s mental health. I really give that a lot of importance. I’ve in fact spoken to behaviour and occupational therapists for Kavish and everything he has gone through too. He doesn’t say it and might not have witnessed it but there is a parent who is missing from his life so I spoke to his paediatrician, a behaviour therapist, occupational therapist and then I have a doctor who comes home to put a tab on his mental health and if any kind of early intervention is needed. Since children cannot emote, explain or verbalize their feelings, they start showing changes in their behaviour. My primary goal with Kavish is to make him independent when it comes to verbalizing his feelings. Even when he was a year and a half old, I would show him a chart where I would draw emotions out – the bigger emotions and then the smaller ones. That is why Kavish is a child who will tell you exactly what he is feeling. Usually people associate anger as a negative feeling. They wouldn’t say they’re feeling grumpy or irritated because it’s a complicated feeling for a child to express but Kavish can say it. I’m very proud of that fact because it happened much before he started going through all these things. People at home need to physically be there for him. I have taught him that he can miss mumma but also has to be strong. If he’s extremely anxious, then the professionals would take care of it. That is how I’ll take care of Kavish’s emotions while I’m absent. I would pray to God that we can sail through this smoothly. I miss him but get my strength from him. The emotion makes me want to be anchored, centred and play my game better. That’s how I’ll deal with these emotions.

Kangana will be controlling your actions but you both are strong-headed, so do you think you are ready for this journey?

I like it and it interests me. It stimulates my intelligence. I like people who are challenging, analytical about stuff and they’re not unreasonable. So, whether I agree with Kangana’s point of view or not, what I like about her is the fact that she has a point of view and the courage to talk about it. That’s a quality which I really admire in her. I believe I have some of that in myself too. That’s a common thing between me and her like you rightly asked. That doesn’t mean I can’t have my own opinion. We have our own opinion on things. How we fight is what determines a person’s character. It’s important to me that I convey my message in the way that I am and can bring my personality forth, inspire or set an example of. That’s more important. I don’t really believe in pulling people’s hair or giving them bad words. It’s not how I fight. I don’t get a release when I fight. I always analyze things. I like to sit across the person and talk it out. That’s my way of a challenge. I’m sure it’s going to be a tough one and I’m really looking forward to it.

You have never worked with Ekta Kapoor previously either. How did things work out for you that you bagged Lock Upp?

I would absolutely love that. She’s again a strong woman who’s a talenthouse. I feel so much energy, passion and drive from her. It’s so contagious that people present in the room get inspired by it. Not just that, there are a lot of talented people but then to take your talent and give it a course of action – to be successful at it and do it over and over again – requires insane amount of spirit and positivity. I really like her.

Not many know but I have actually worked with Ekta in the past. I was 23. I do one show in a decade. I did this show with her called Karva Chauth where I was playing the lead. There was Eijaz Khan, me and Piyush. It was a love triangle. That show never came on air. It got revamped and was then called Kesar. That show went on air and I was playing a negative character in that. It was the time when I was so raw and new. My Lucky Ali’s video Kabhi Aisa Lagta Hai had released at that time. We had worked together but it was for a very brief period – just about a year. Then I figured I wasn’t enjoying Television at that point of time so I focused more on my advertising career then. Back then, I saw Ekta as this young girl who would wear colourful bands and come to the sets. Her words of wisdom only inspired even at that age. We don’t have much age difference so I relate to her journey and the way she is. There are a lot of common grounds between the makers and the host. It is one thing I really like about the show.

Are you ready or scared for the world to see unfiltered Nisha Rawal 24x7?

It’s not easy. When you put a camera in front of anyone’s face, they stop being themselves because they get conscious, no matter how many times you face the camera. It’s not going to be easy being under surveillance. It won’t be easy when the media is on you, especially with a girl like me who’s never been a part of any controversy in my entire career but a controversy did happen. You know, one controversy cannot sustain you for 72 days. I will be there with 15 other celebrities. There will be zero amenities. There’s so much that’s there to Nisha Rawal than just one controversy. People don’t know that. They have seen me as a model, actor and now this controversy. They’ve seen me as a celebrity’s wife. This time people will know me because I’m going to a reality show carrying my own name on my own shoulders – nobody else to share that responsibility with. Me, 15 contestants and the whole world after the huge controversy. It’s going to be fun, challenging. It won’t be a cakewalk. Even if I’m up for all the challenges, there are times when I get nervous and feel how would I verbalize what I feel when people will be watching. I have those fears like any other normal person would. That’s the beauty of it. If you become so fearless that you don’t have any fears left, then challenges get over for you one-by-one and you come to a point where you’re so content in a negative way that you don’t push through. When you stop pushing through, the purpose of life is just over, right? You don’t inspire or connect. You don’t know what to do next. You just reach a point of stagnation. I’m ready for those challenges and in fact feel that people will enjoy seeing this side of me. My friends tell me I’m funny, witty, humorous. I can give skin, hair, dress tips. People want to know how did my career begin. There is so much more that happens behind the camera. There are causes I stand for – from beach cleanup to using menstrual cup. If I get a platform and opportunity to show that side of me, I would love to do that. I’m sure people will like me on that front. It’s what I can make out of the other humans I come in contact with in person.

What are you expecting after Lock Upp? Will you spend more time with Kavish or are expecting more offers?

The first thing I’m expecting is for people to know this side of me. Such a huge incident happened in my life and I had one press conference on it and then I was quiet. I never gave one-on-one interviews because that’s not how I want to conduct my life. Even that press conference happened because my team of professionals advised me to counter what the other person was saying. It was a point which maybe was important legally. I don’t think I wouldn’t have even done the press conference. When something so big happens, you are confused, in pain and so vulnerable that you don’t even have the right words to verbalize your emotions. It was too much and I wondered is this really happening. It seemed like a completely different world where I was waking up and things were happening. Today when I come here and talk to people and they get to know me more, it gives me strength, courage and positivity to go through one-day-at-a-time.

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