Rehnaa Hai Terre Dil Mein: Maddy's daddy—the unseen agony behind RHTDM's sugar-coated romance
Despite its nostalgic charm, <em>Rehnaa Hai Terre Dil Mein</em> still misses the mark due to its outdated and problematic themes.
R Madhavan in a still from Rehnaa Hai Terre Dil Mein
Revisiting RHTDM after several years
I simply chose to rewatch the film after several years, not anticipating a shift in my sentiments towards it. RHTDM for example, has long been a cult favorite, especially among those who fondly remember its catchy songs and the charisma of R. Madhavan as the charming yet flawed Maddy. However, in this early 2000s romantic drama, it has become increasingly clear that Maddy's character and the dynamics surrounding his actions have not aged well and will never.ALSO READ: Rehnaa Hai Terre Dil Mein 2: Dia Mirza reveals why the sequel isn't happening yet; says, ‘I guess we are…’ | ExclusiveThis film doesn't hold up well in a time when women's opinions are increasingly mainstream. Upon closer examination, it becomes clear that Maddy's behavior is not only problematic on its own but also disturbingly normalized by his father, Anupam Kher, who willingly enables his son's morally dubious choices.Role of Maddy's father in normalising deception
The film portrays Kher as a single father who ultimately feels that Maddy's apprehension and lack of a girl represent a lost battle. This comes near the climax, but if you go back to the beginning, it's Deendayal Shastri who asks his son to just catfish the girl like it's no big deal. He gives the example that no matter what people call him, be it "DD" or "Shastry," he will always be the same person. Whatever that means!Maddy introduces himself to the uninitiated as a carefree, rebellious young man who believes in living life on his own terms. His devil-may-care attitude and boyish charm initially endear him to the audience and continue to do so. However, as the film progresses, Maddy's character veers into troubling territory. His obsession with Reena crosses boundaries, leading him to deceive her by impersonating her fiancé, Rajeev (Saif Ali Khan) whom she has never met.Maddy presents his deception as a grand romantic gesture, demonstrating the depth of his love for Reena. But in reality, it’s a manipulation of her trust and a complete disregard for her autonomy. He decides what’s best for her without ever considering her feelings, making his love more about possession than genuine affection. This raises the question: why was such behavior romanticized? The answer lies, in part, in the support he receives from his father.Instead of guiding his son towards ethical behavior, Kher’s character repeatedly encourages Maddy to pursue his dubious plans. The portrayal depicts him as the 'cool dad,' who, instead of disciplining his son or warning him against deceit, becomes his confidant and accomplice.Enabling toxic masculinity
One striking scene that highlights this enabling dynamic is when Maddy confides in his father about his plan to impersonate Rajeev to win Reena’s heart. Instead of cautioning him against such a deceitful act, Maddy’s father not only condones it but also provides tacit approval. This portrayal suggests that as long as one’s intentions are rooted in love, the means justify the ends—a message that is dangerously flawed.As a supposed figure of wisdom, Kher's character ends up reinforcing the idea that deceiving someone for love's sake is acceptable. This paternal validation not only emboldens Maddy but also influences the audience’s perception, making his morally questionable actions seem almost forgivable. It’s a disturbing dynamic that underscores the impact of parental influence on ethical boundaries.The relationship between Maddy and his father also touches upon the broader issue of toxic masculinity. Maddy’s behavior is a textbook example of toxic traits—his persistence in the face of rejection, his sense of entitlement to Reena’s love, and his willingness to use deceit to achieve his goals. His father, instead of challenging or correcting him, nurtures these traits by encouraging him to assert his dominance and "win" the girl at any cost.There's also a scene between Kher and Khan in which the former asks Rajiv to let Reena go as Maddy, and they fall in love with each other. It seems like Reena's flat-out rejection has no value, and they still believe that her no doesn't mean no. This normalization of toxic masculinity is one of the most troubling aspects of RHTDM. Inadvertently, the film glorifies the idea that men are entitled to pursue women, even through deceit, and that women will eventually come to accept this behavior as love.Maddy's father, as a single parent, perpetuates a cycle of toxic behavior from one generation to the next by supporting his son's actions.Issue of Reena’s character and outdated gender norms
However, despite her beauty and kindness, the film often reduces Reena to the stereotypical 'ideal woman', who is both desirable and submissive, perfectly fitting the stereotype of the ideal Indian wife. Her character, as a CA by profession, lacks depth, and the men around her often dictate her choices rather than her own desires or aspirations. When we first learn that she hasn't seen Rajiv, despite him having seen her most recent photo, it begs the question of how, in 2001, parents still selected a life partner for their daughter. Where were the counter-questions that the girl should have asked before agreeing? This reinforces outdated gender norms that expect women to be passive participants in their own lives.Despite Rajiv being the perfect choice between Maddy and him, Reena doesn't even get the chance to participate in the "get to know each other part." We have already witnessed a wedding mandap in which she was coerced into making a decision during a rebound session.Rehnaa Hai Terre Dil Mein may have been a product of its time, but revisiting it two decades later reveals just how problematic its central narrative and characters are. Maddy, who should have been held accountable for his actions, is instead championed as a romantic hero, largely due to the enabling influence of his father. This dynamic not only undermines the ethical foundation of the film but also sends a dangerous message about the acceptability of deception in relationships.There's a scene where Reena flat-out rejects Maddy's advances after he confronts her in a state of despair. To be honest, it's the most disturbing scene in the film, and even after that, we see RHTDM getting a happy ending, which still leaves me scratching my head.Deception of location and the continued search for authenticity
There's another deception made by the makers, especially to the viewers, by showing Scotland and New Zealand while claiming, "Yeh Mumbai mein meri sabse favourite jagah hai (Here in Mumbai, this is my favorite place)." The search is still on!ALSO READ: As RHTDM re-releases in theatres, Dia Mirza recalls initial reception of film: 'It was cruel, the experience...' Share